Creedence Cinema: Why haven’t we started naming films after CCR songs yet? Fogerty won’t mind.

By on January 17, 2018

I am a firm believer in the “_____ is my new band name” joke, and I’m distrustful of people who don’t make it. Sure, it’s dumb and not really funny, but it’s one of those little things that causes you to be a more active listener. If you hear the word “spaghettification” and don’t think that sounds like an incredible band name what are you even doing with your life?

What the joke reveals is that inspiration is around us all the time, whether it be for a fake band name or a real movie title. Phrases that sound cool often sound cool in more than one medium. Haven’t you ever wondered why there isn’t a movie called “All Along The Watchtower”? Or why there aren’t an entire series of dumb direct to video action flicks called “Kickstart My Heart”? Doesn’t a romantic comedy called “Everlong” seem like the most natural thing in the world?

That it took so long for someone to use “Proud Mary” as the name for a movie about a kickass woman proves that Hollywood hasn’t exactly run out of ideas, it’s just not always good at looking for no places to mine. But perhaps no one made that leap because they were worried that John Fogerty would not be down for that sort of thing, which as it turns out is the case. I’m not going to bang on one of the greatest rock songwriters of all time because I respect him too much for that, and because I get it: you write a song and it has a special meaning to you, and I can see how having it used as the title for a movie so bad the studio basically hid it away from critics would be a bummer.

However…

You have to admit, there are some damn good Creedence Clearwater Revival song titles that could double as movie titles. I’m not saying this should become sort of weird cinematic universe, I’m just saying that the potential is there. For the purposes of this idea we’re going to limit our movie pitches to CCR originals, if for no other reason than the inevitable PR bump we’ll get when we find out Fogerty is disappointed in us.

Born On The Bayou
Genre: Found Footage Horror
Elevator Pitch: Big city journalists get more than they can handle when gators aren’t the worst thing in the swamp.
You may have noticed over the last year that the mainstream media is obsessed with figuring out why Trump voters voted the way they did. I both pity and envy the reporters sent to small towns they don’t want to be in to talk to people they don’t actually care about to get answers they already know. So why not compare this loathed corner or journalism with the most loathed horror genre there is?

Down on the Corner
Genre: Indie
Elevator Pitch: A day in the life of a small town street corner.
Every generation needs its meandering, “here are 15 of so characters living their life separately only to have their individual stories come together in the third act” tale. But rather than have something expansive with tons of coverage, the story would be centered on the comings and goings of a particular street corner in a small town; maybe there’s a bus stop and a corner store and that’s why everyone is there. I’m just the idea guy, not the scriptwriter.

Someday Never Comes
Genre: Western Thriller
Elevator Pitch: A bounty hunter wants to get out of the game, but with so much blood on his hands can he ever really escape?
Of the ideas I’m just coming up with off the top of my head, this is the one that excites me the most largely because there are enough CCR titles that sound like they could be westerns that this could easily spin out into a full fledged series. A prequel called The Working Man. Sequels named Tombstone Shadow and Sinister Purpose. A spin-off titled Run Through the Jungle. We could pump these out on the cheap for years.

Bad Moon Rising
Genre: Action
Elevator Pitch: An asteroid collides with the Moon, sending it on a crash course for planet Earth.
I’m not a scientist, but it seems like if the Moon was in a death spiral and slowly falling toward us that the weather would get worse. Just think of all the extra gravity it would be forcing on us. Think of all the complaints Neil deGrasse Tyson would have with this concept on a fundamental level. Isn’t that reason enough to make a movie? Isn’t that the level of silly that we aspire to be? If Geostorm can be a thing that ends up in theaters, this idea can too. You know I’m right. PJH

Caption 1: You have to admit, there are some damn good Creedence Clearwater Revival song titles
that could double as movie titles


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