GET OUT: Soloing offseason’s quiet diversions

By on November 11, 2014
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Soaking your feet in some hot springs can be a great start to the day. PHOTO: ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

Jackson Hole, Wyoming – So your friends are all wind surfing in Baja and life has left you with dismal funds or a job that keeps you in the Hole.  Though the sun has been prevalent this autumn, it is only a matter of time before offseason weather engulfs the valley and the damp drizzle quickly turns to graupel. While the days get progressively darker, below are some words to guide your existence in a time when all you have is yourself.

Start the day off right with a soak in Granite Hot Springs. Although the main pool is closed, some natural hot springs can be found with the right directions. Head down there during mid-week when the children of strangers aren’t around to use you as a jungle gym. Enjoy the solace of a hot spot in a cold world, and bask in the comforts of solitude.

On the way back to town, stop by Enclosure Climbing Gym. Once a prime social scene in the dead of the offseason, soak in the cold reality of its closure and wait on its doorsteps in hopes of encountering some other sad, aspiring Teton climber to talk to. Relive the days of climbing in the warmth of a gym and gain happiness from knowing your chances of getting the staph or the flu this winter are dwindling.

Next stop, head to the Animal Adoption Center to be around creatures that will love you unconditionally, even if you are a stranger. Say hello to the friendly staff, or volunteer to foster an inmate for the night. If you are feeling less committed, play with cats or walk a dog.

After sufficient furry bliss, head to social hour at your preferred grocery store. I recommend the one with the most people and the smallest aisles. Chat with people you haven’t seen for months, and convince them to have you over for dinner … tonight.  When this technique fails, journey to your favorite restaurant for a two-for-one special.

Ignore the glare from your local hostess when you inform them you are a party of one. Look around at all the gleeful couples enjoying one last date night before they move in together and hibernate all winter. See if there are any other people alone, and sit down with them. As they avoid eye contact, tell them about your life. Ask them if they would like to share a two-for-one with you.

If you still find yourself solo, remember that should you order two entrees, most restaurants have a rule that they must both be eaten in-house. This solo segregation may encourage you to overeat. Refrain. It will not help the cause. Once you’ve made it through dinner, it’s time to treat yourself to dessert. After all, it’s been a big day.

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Chocolate warms the heart.

Dissolve your sorrows at Coco Love, located just across from the Wort Hotel. It offers by far the best desserts in town, and it’s one of the few welcoming places for loners during this dreary time of year. You will receive no mean looks just because you are taking up an entire table, and they offer two desserts for the price of one during November. You will even be permitted to take the second dessert to go (imagine that).

With your serotonin producing deliciousness, stop by the Wort to wrap up the evening. With live music on Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, this is a great place to see humans while actively being fly on the wall. The music always ends at a reasonable time, so call it a wholesome, early evening and make your way back to your empty house.

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Snow hits the Tetons one dreary day.

Organize your first-aid kit, prepare your ski gear, and find that left-handed glove you misplaced last season. Pop in some Wonder Years and relive your childhood crush on Winnie Cooper. After all, who says the offseason is bad?


About Elizabeth Koutrelakos

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