By on October 21, 2014

DISSTongueAdam and Eve, not Adam and Steve 

Same-sex marriage is incorrect. On every level.

A same-sex marriage does not produce offspring. Not that baby making is the sole definition or purpose of marriage, but the Creator’s intent was a monogamous relationship that populated the world. There would be no Lilly for Cameron and Mitchell if not for a heterosexual relationship (ideally, a marriage) somewhere upstream. Want to remove religious overtones? Fine, a union of two pee-pees or no pee-pees violates natural law and defies common sense.

The true, biblical intent of marriage is to create one from two. A perfect union of mind, body and spirit – achieved ultimately and perfectly through sexual intercourse – that results in the loss of the individuality of two and achieves literally one organism. Or one orgasm (his, of course) as the old yarn goes.

A child needs a mother and a father. True, today’s 50 percent divorce rate has wrought havoc on families and left too many kids lost or acting out for the lack of both. But the ambition for utopian childrearing is made complete under the guidance and protection of mom and dad.

So what’s the big deal? Why not live and let live? What business does government have meddling around in the bedroom?

Redefining marriage to include same-sex couples cheapens the sanctity of the sacrament. A common kvetch of the LGBT community is: If two people love each other and are committed to each other why shouldn’t they be allowed to marry? Well, a father can really love and care for and be committed to his daughter. Or son. Or vice-versa. Do you really want to go there? Allowing gays to legally marry is one step down a slippery slope toward allowing relatives to get hitched or farmers to lie with their bovine and file joint tax returns with Bessie.

Government can and should get involved in this matter. Wyoming, along with her conservative friends like Idaho, was the last stand against making us a nation that tolerates everything and anything in the name of equality as long as the minorest of minorities has a beef. It’s why prayer was removed from our local rodeo. Majority didn’t rule. A handful of people offended by the Constitutional rights of others called the shots and removed God from the chutes.

Legalizing gay marriage is a further degradation of a society already compromised and morally broken down by everything from lenient prison sentences and easy parole to filthy television shows that glorify violence and casual sex. Acknowledging homosexual partners have the same legal rights as heterosexuals in marriage imposes acceptance of abnormal behavior on all citizenry and cheapens traditional marriage.

Politicians are too scared now to take a stand. The issue is polarizing and in the interest of not jeopardizing any potential votes, they kowtow to marches and sit-ins. Even hardcore Republicans sometimes claim to have seen the light when a family member “turns” gay. Sen. Rob Portman, R-Ohio, was one legislator who had such a transformation when his son came out and admitted he was gay. What if Portman’s son had revealed a heroin addiction? Are we going to legalize smack?

Mead caved. Wyoming fell. And the country’s tagline, “one nation under God,” is made more and more completely meaningless.

PROPSFistbumpLodging tax: Their 2 cents 

Opponents of the bed tax, and there aren’t many, claim the valley does not need self-promotion. In fact, according to those against the tax, marketing Jackson Hole will only bring more of the headaches that come with tourism: traffic, low-paying jobs that exacerbate the lack of workforce housing, and traffic. Yeah, traffic was mentioned twice.

But old school naysayers have to remember this is a newfangled two percent tourist tariff. The funds generated come back to the county in better numbers – a third is designated for impact mitigation. START Bus is funded, streets are repaired and garbage is picked up with the money left by travelers. It’s dough Robin Hooded from the poor vacationer and paid to the rich valley dwellers. It’s money that would not have been available otherwise.

And promotion of Jackson Hole is always necessary. Billboard Bedouins unmotivated to pack their bags for the Hole will make for rival resort towns with their platinum cards. That’s money out of our coffers; sales tax taking winged flight to Colorado and Utah.

Officials hawking the lodging levy the other night said they couldn’t think of a single downside to the “tax you don’t pay.” That’s not entirely true. The Travel & Tourism Board has tried to use the revenue to generate shoulder season interest to “meh” interest so far. SHIFT isn’t exactly setting the Rocky Mountain region on fire. Beefing up interest in May and October is a waste of money. Kids are in school and it can be snowing like a bitch in either of those months.

Traffic is not a byproduct of the lodging tax. Summer road-cloggers are just as likely to be a gravel truck, followed by a lawn care pickup pulling a trailer, followed by a third homeowner driving a Lexus that’s garaged for 11 months out of the year. But it is a bit naïve for TTB’s chairwoman Kate Sollitt to say the tax has no effect on the county’s housing struggles. More tourists, more t-shirts, more cashiers. Without question the ramifications of an increase in visitors is a corresponding increase in the peons that wait on them. Still, skimming a little off the top with a duty aimed fairly efficiently at passing customers of the county is a $4.5 million no-brainer.

About Jake Nichols

Jake is a work in progress.


  1. Mountain grateful

    October 21, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    Please separate your religion from my State. Your rant is idiotic. Room for lots of comments but comparing gay marriage to heroin addiction? Hmm…

  2. Crusty Monkey

    October 22, 2014 at 9:18 am

    Same sex marriage does not produce offspring (but rape does – the unspoken part of your illogical rant!) If this is the type of logic you use to make your case, then I would argue that your logic should be replaced with a little heart and soul. Chromosome mixology gives rise to babies, but families, of all sorts, are what raise them into caring loving adults, a point that is well stated by Alan Simpson in this issue of the Weekly.

  3. Ralph Stanley

    October 23, 2014 at 7:12 am

    Jake wants others to submit to the prayers of his faith and the tenets he preaches. He’s no different than the gay crowd (or the Taliban). Each wants to force everyone to see things their way or be attacked for having a different point of view. They have two competing points of reference that are also open to interpretation: constitutional law vs. religious teachings.

    At least Jake admits that his faith drives his position and he doesn’t mince words to appease his readers. People of faith who fail to defend their faith have no faith. Jake should be applauded for expressing his opinion and defending it even if his argument fails the test of logic for some. That’s what people of faith should do.

    It doesn’t matter that organized religion has a horrible track record when it comes to following its own tenets or fails some test of logic. It doesn’t matter that Jake can’t make a sound constitutional argument. If Jake really believes that his god supports his position then he should back it. Jake’s critics should reference his book of faith if they wish to change his mind. It appears that Jake also believes what he believes because it seems like common sense to him.

  4. The Tax You DO Pay

    October 26, 2014 at 11:02 am

    Perhaps Jake only travels to places that advertise heavily and then rob him blind with fees and taxes. Discerning tourists find the special places without the hype. It’s better for Jackson to cater to the wealthy than the masses. The wealthy can afford to pay the true cost of goods & services. They will appreciate some solitude in a special place. Bringing Disneyland to Jackson is the future as envisioned by Jake. The only future for Jackson is more pizza joints and motel rooms? Leave that to Cody and West Yellowstone. The hospitality industry wants a handout in the form of free advertising revenue. The Jackson Hole Mountain Resort can pay for its own advertising. Everyone wants a handout including the government.

    Unfortunately, governments create a never-ending cycle of empire building when they get their hands on your wallet.

  5. The Tax You DO Pay

    October 26, 2014 at 11:03 am

    Travel anywhere and you’ll pay similar taxes in other towns. We even charge visitors additional fees to use our recreational center. These types of taxes and fees are insidious. It robs tourist of money that could be spent on dining or entertainment. It supports an out-of-state advertising and marketing industry.

    Creating more low-wage jobs will burden taxpayers now and forever. And really, do we want to be the hospitality sweatshop of the world? More hospitality employees means fewer housing options and higher rents for the working class. That’s a hidden tax and a direct result of things like the SPET tax. How many immigrant workers can you shove into a 300 sq ft motel room?

    We subsidize airfares for trustfunders to vacation in Jackson and we subsidize the advertising costs for the very profitable hospitality industry to entice them here. Everyone needs a subsidy. The latest Quentin Tarantino film is being shot in Telluride with big subsidies. Does Quentin need a subsidy? He’s rich. What he wants is for you to pay for his millionaire lifestyle. The hospitality is no different. The idea that the SPET tax will pay for the negative costs of tourism is false. The SPET tax will only increase the need for the SPET tax.

    Who picks up the tab for the long-term costs associated with hospitality jobs? Taxpayers do. Child Care, K-12 education, legal services, retirement, healthcare, transportation, food assistance, recreational activities, utility subsidies, FOREVER. Our immigrant population has had a major impact on school funding and the need for social services. Try saving money for healthcare or retirement with one of our hospitality employers.

    Taxes come back to bite you because they increase the size of government and the ‘need’ for more money never stops growing. Every town looks to the feds for more money because they built unsustainable empires. Jackson is no different. It doesn’t want to live within its means.

    Pathways, Ice Rinks, Convention Centers, Ball Fields, Libraries, Bus Barns, Arts Centers, Recreation Centers, Million-dollar bathrooms, all need maintenance, all have dedicated staff, all have office expenses, all have utility bills. That new bus barn is going to be maintained, staffed, and heated FOREVER. We’ll have a SPET tax to build a municipal golf course if we’re not careful.

    That “tax you don’t pay” allows the government to take the tax you do pay and increase spending elsewhere. They just increased their own wages. When’s the last time you got a serious wage hike like the electeds? Higher wages & benefits for government employees aren’t a one-time expense. Currently, government wages are above the mean wage for Teton County.

    Meanwhile these overly-paid electeds want to plow heavy snow on your sidewalk and then make you shovel it off the sidewalk. How about getting the electeds to shovel it? They might actually earn their wage.

  6. WyEquality

    October 26, 2014 at 11:33 am

    I can’t tell if your post is satire or not. It appears some sentences are and some aren’t. Either way, the satirical sounding ones made me smile.

    P.S. Satire is better if you don’t break character, ala Stephen Colbert.

  7. Wammy

    October 28, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    An economic boost from the lodging tax is unremarkable unless it’s also bringing up the standard of living for the lowest paid year-round workers in more than just a miserly way. Does the lodging tax do this? Unlikely.

    If people think it’s good to subsidize the hospitality industry then why not their lowest-paid employees? A SPET or lodging tax redirected to low-wage year-round earners would be the ideal way to offset to the
    economic damage done by tourism even if year-round immigrants sent their tax-money home. A ‘living wage’ minimum wage would never get supported by the hospitality industry in Jackson but the lodging tax already is supported so let’s just redirect the money that’s currently used to offset the negative effects of tourism away from government services and directly to the employees. Those employees might actually be able to pay for all those START bus rides they currently get highly subsidized. Or pay for healthcare and retirement or a vacation (god forbid).

  8. Spud

    October 29, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    I think that you mean to reference the LODGING TAX and not the SPET tax in your comments. Although, there is some overlap so maybe I’m all washed up.

    The lodging tax’s effectiveness is difficult to measured since so much other advertising for Jackson also takes place and since so few people make an expensive vacation decision based upon on advertising.

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