PROPS & DISSES: 12.18.13

By on December 17, 2013
Moose hockey is a hot ticket this year Photo:
Moose hockey is a hot ticket this year Photo:

Moose hockey is a hot ticket this year Photo:

JACKSON HOLE, WYO – Moose are loose PROPS
Don’t look now but your local hockey team is undefeated and feeling it. Off to a 6-0 start, the Moose are taking advantage of a better skating unit overall and excellent team play with smart positioning and sharp passing.

Newcomers have quickened the step of the club. Where the blueliners were once aging and slow, the defense is now bolstered by the steady play of Justin Thomas, the ever-improving Matt Kruvant, and the physical Ryan Tufte. Up front, longtime standouts like the brothers Hannafin – Brian and Sean – and hometown boy Luke Smith now trying to keep pace with electric new forwards Steve Giononne, Austin Chow and point-machine Alex Beigler.

Now, this team flat out skates, always looking to break out of their own end with a stretch pass or an orchestrated multi-player rush. And the Moose are better in their own end. Wingers no longer feel the pressure to drop low to aid the defense corp. They stay high, waiting for outlet passes on the half wall or checking their mark, denying point shots from opposition defensemen.

The team still struggles to generate consistent offense and create space for their snipers. Most of the scoring still comes off the rush, understandably given the overall team speed. The power play has been somewhat erratic but improving.

Space: the final frontier DISS
What’s wrong with leaving grass lie? An obsession with filling every patch of green with concrete, steel, or public art has city planners firmly in its grip.

The tiny open space against the north wall of the parking garage wouldn’t make a decent handball court but city officials deemed the micro-gap “underutilized” and granted Vertical Harvest the right to build a greenhouse in a space too small to park an RV.

The lawn at Center for the Arts is a wonderful place to play Frisbee or spread a blanket and let the kids run. CFA director Martha Bancroft called the beautiful 1.2 acres of lush grass “underutilized.” There’s that word again. It’s the battle cry of architects and men with ready access to bulldozers.

A federal grant, a local grant, and a private donation will get the diesel burning on that useless open lot next to CFA. Hood Design Studio, Pierson Landworks, Arup Engineering and Stephen Dynia Architecture will get busy designing a “concept” that fits the space better than green grass.

Looking down on Jackson from the summit of Snow King, the first thing one notices is the open expanse on the east end of town called the May property. Town of Jackson secured the 10-acre parcel with the dream of one day, when the town had enough money, turning it into a park. A park that would symbolize the serenity of nature and earth and stuff. A park that had to be “manufactured.” Work is finally underway to turn the refreshing open space there into something that looks more like a park than grass and trees and all that crap.

Meanwhile, PAWS is looking for any remaining scrap of land that isn’t “overutilized” because their dog park is being evicted from their open space so the Housing Authority can get busy building an apartment complex for more dog owners to move into.

Where all the women at? DISS
Gender imbalance in Jackson has been an issue for some time. Well, at least males consider it an issue. Females refer to it as a flattering mirror used by some unscrupulous fashion stores.

Now comes word that the entire state of Wyoming suffers from a male-to-female ratio that is the second highest in the nation, skewed toward men. Only Alaska has fewer women in the United States.

According to U.S. Census population estimates from 2012, Wyoming has an estimated 294,281 men compared to 282,131 women. That’s a rate of 104.3 males for every 100 females.

It may not seem like much, but it results in lonely guys and gals who would be a “6” in any other state, suddenly strutting their stuff like they were a “9.”

Roughneck jobs attract mostly dirty-knuckled boys to the state. Even with men dying earlier than women, about five years sooner on average, and much more likely to commit suicide, there are still too few prospects to wed and bed in Wyoming for your average dude.

The national average is skewed the opposite with 96.9 men for every 100 women.

About Jake Nichols

Jake is a work in progress.


  1. Idiots

    December 17, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    The Center for the Arts is unable to support itself as it is. Now they want to expand. How soon will they be coming back to taxpayers and asking for more? Library ring a bell?

    The Arts community needs to stop asking for the handout. They can’t survive without a handout because they overvalue their value time after time.

  2. Wallsy

    December 17, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    Attractive men find women.
    Rich men find women.
    Even ass-ugly deadbeats in Jackson find women.

    If you can’t find a gal, you’re having some personal issues unrelated to the number of available women.

    Make the spreadsheet by age and things look pretty good for a single mid-lifer male & senior male.

    The younger boys can always find a cougar.

  3. Tired of hypocrite, uneducated Jackson elitists

    December 18, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Burning fossil fuels to grow “organic” (you mean it contains carbon? No s***)food is the height of hypocrisy but more important ineffectiveness. One has to be a complete moron to buy into the “healthier” and “better for the environment” creed. It isn’t. It requires more land use, causes more erosion, uses more fossil fuels, uses toxic heavy metals(as pesticides, I’ll take glyphosate over copper sulfate any day) while yielding less. This is a nice article about the myths. No, I’m not basing this rant on one article but rather as someone with an Ag-Sci degree. This article has citations and links which I am too lazy to do. And I know I didn’t really address anything in Jakes article but that “greenhouse” annoys the crap out of me and I had a minute. I feel sorry for the local farms that have to compete against that subsidized scam.

  4. Is hanging legal?

    December 18, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    “I feel sorry for the local farms that have to compete against that subsidized scam.

    That’s funny. Every Farmer in America seems to be on the public dole. Of course, the really small ones probably aren’t.

    The greenhouse is also a work program for the handicapped so I’ll see how that goes before I jump ship with you TOHUJE. A subsidized business model MIGHT decrease handouts elsewhere. Many handouts have no productivity associated with them.

    I have my doubts about the greenhouse but I’d rather be proven wrong and see it become a success.

  5. Tired of hypocrite, uneducated Jackson elitists

    December 18, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    And if you’re right and we waste 2 million dollars on finding out, you’re OK with that? That is was worth it? I would love to sign up for that program. While it may seem to those not involved in agriculture that farmers are on the “dole”, the truth is only commodity (look it up) crop farmers receive any subsidies. There are reasons for this. Water is subsidized but the country is also fed using this water and this benefits everyone, including organic farms and industry. Ever wonder why Boeing started in Seattle? The majority of farms in this country are family owned and incomes as well as yields are up (despite what the Farm Aid idiots say). Ask a farmer. Drive down to the Magic Valley and ask around if you don’t believe me. The Vertical Harvest business model is based on paying substandard wages while receiving subsidies and handouts. I call that exploitation. There is a reason we only grow grasses here. And the only ones any good at that are the folks at the Elk Refuge. Our climate is not suitable to much else unless we heat greenhouses at $100k a year to do it. I guarantee you that is not a sustainable model that can work without handouts. I am a huge supporter of government investment to spur and enhance growth. I grew up in Silicon Valley which owes its existence to massive government spending. But it was spending based on research based on applicable science, not “wouldn’t this be great if” nonsense. My father worked for DOE on the “dole” as some would call it. What they discovered (quarks) has helped numerous people aiding cancer research. I “get” it when it comes to subsidizing. Vertical Harvest however, is not “it”. Let’s use taxpayer money for actual sustainable projects and employ “handicapped” folks without exploiting them.

  6. Jobs

    December 19, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Yelp. The subsidy is unfair to local growers in this market. But let’s admit that they’re probably paying substandard wages unless they do all the work themselves. Were they hiring handicapped individuals? Did they come together to build a greenhouse?

    VH gets SPET money from the Town – taxpayers voted for it. I can think of 100 better uses for the money but the taxpayers gave the city the power to decide how to spend it. Don’t blame the Town for the voters’ stupidity in electing those leaders or passing the SPET.

    I don’t like the SPET but it’s water over the dam and money from visitors.

    Poor investment? You may be right. However, 300K is chump change to the Town of Jackson. They waste that much in one month. And VH gets a loan from the Town: 300K. They have to pay it back. VH will lease the greenhouse.

    The $1.5 million grant from the state is really just extractive industry money. You know, the oil & Gas industry money that pays the State’s expenses so you don’t have to? Who’s on the dole?

    Again, I’d spend it elsewhere but voters voted for the folks in charge and the Wyoming Business Council & The State Loan and Investment Board decided this was the best thing going on their short list of projects to subsidize.

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