All posts by Clyde Thornhill

  • REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Helping men overcome emotional issues

    JACKSON, WYO – I stopped by Healthy Being Juicery hoping Susie would snag me a free juice. Instead of drinking it, I repackage it in Bud Light bottles and sell it at half price to the deranged...

    • Posted February 25, 2014
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  • REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Muffins, Socrates and whips

    JACKSON, WYO – Alice, my Republican lover and sponsored ambassador for CollarNcuffs whips, as well as creator of an online newsletter for lash aficionados she calls The Flogger Blogger, has been out of a job since her...

    • Posted February 11, 2014
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  • redneck
    REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Market Manipulation saves juicery

    JACKSON, WYO – Susie stopped by my trailer in tears. Dealing with emotionally irrational females (as if there is another kind) can have pleasant side effects if the situation is handled properly. “Clyde,” she cried. “I’m so...

    • Posted January 28, 2014
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    JACKSON HOLE, WYO – To provide an option to the controversial Common Core Curriculum adopted by local schools, I have opened the Hog Island Community School (HICS). One of Common Core’s many failings is the replacement of...

    • Posted January 14, 2014
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  • REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Moving on from muffins

    JACKSON HOLE, WYO – Many in Jackson are lamenting the closing of Shades Café and the loss of menu staples such as Eggs Tomavo, delicious homemade soups and robust salads. Also gone will be the generous support...

    • Posted December 30, 2013
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  • redneck
    REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Dickens of a redneck Christmas

    JACKSON HOLE, WYO – After a strenuous day of Christmas shopping, I was relaxing at the trailer with a case of Budweiser, some pork rinds, and the TV clicker. I already had gifts for all my girls:...

    • Posted December 17, 2013
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  • redneck
    REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Are hunters Nazis or Klansman?

    JACKSON HOLE, WYO – After reading News&Guide editorials for the last month, I find myself in the midst of an identity crisis. Am I a Nazi or a member of the Klan? It was suggested by Todd...

    • Posted December 3, 2013
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  • REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Thornhill: Breaking yoga

    JACKSON HOLE, WYO – I’m sitting in my office smoking cigarettes between shots of cheap bourbon and bad memories. Velda ran off with a sponsored snowboarder and the promise of a free Burton board. I feel empty,...

    • Posted November 19, 2013
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  • REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Hog Island Physics Require Quantum Leap

    JACKSON HOLE, WYO – Normal people are often intimidated by physics and quantum theory. After all, Albert Einstein’s appearance does not bolster confidence in his ability to discern universal truths. I have decided to provide an explanation...

    • Posted November 5, 2013
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  • REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Clyde strayed, only pieces found

    JACKSON HOLE, WYO – In honor of “Wild” author Cheryl Strayed appearing at “Page to the Podium,” I offer a column that appeared two years ago when her book was the latest in the confused-female-finding-herself-in-nature genre. Her...

    • Posted October 22, 2013
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