All posts by Clyde Thornhill
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Hillbilly Hip
Living life as a Hog Island hipster Jackson Hole, Wyoming – I was getting bored with Lil, Susie and Alice. Blythe was out of town. The off-season’s meager selection of Utah girls was also uninspiring so I headed...
- Posted September 29, 2015
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Yogi Criminals
Delving into Jackson’s friendly black market She walked into my office, her hips waving hello. The Patagonia T-shirt clung to her as if organic cotton hungered for warm flesh, for freedom from restraint, seeking only fire and...
- Posted September 15, 2015
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Hip Hog Island
Gentrification plan calls for yuppies and art I am working with Christina Grey, a Sotheby’s realtor and one of my part-time belamours, to transform greater Hog Island into a trendy, upscale neighborhood like New York’s East Village, the...
- Posted September 8, 2015
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Hog Island economics
Thornhill hedge fund will bring in the dough Blythe Winters-Paulson, vice-president of ethics with Goldman Sachs, for whom I serve as her Hog Island paramour, is in town for the Reserve Bank of Kansas City economic symposium....
- Posted August 25, 2015
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Rebranding Hog Island
The classiest area in town is due for a makeover Christina Grey, a Sotheby’s realtor and one of my part-time paramours spent the night at my trailer. Our favorite fantasy is that I’m a potential buyer of...
- Posted August 11, 2015
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: God-given guns
Constitution, Creator have granted us concealed carry Jackson, WY – Alice, my Republican lover, came by my trailer last night all excited. “Guess what?” she exclaimed. “Your bondage and domination tendencies have evolved and now you’re the...
- Posted August 4, 2015
REDNECK: Exempt from ‘Obey’
Stop sign art has one cyclist reeling Susie, my organic juice girl, insisted I get more exercise. So, I tried. I left my TV clicker in another room and changed channels by hand, traveling between the couch...
- Posted July 28, 2015
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Endangered species gets protection
Wealthy areas to enjoy ‘diversity’ with redneck reintroduction Jackson Hole, Wyoming – Save Historical Jackson Hole has filed a lawsuit in federal court to enforce the Endangered Species Act and the reintroduction of rednecks to the Westbank....
- Posted July 15, 2015
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: I fixed the housing shortage
Low-end housing for Jackson’s workforce Subsidized housing is the new catch phrase in Jackson. The business community supports subsidized housing to keep a supply of cheap workers available and workers support subsidized housing so they can have...
- Posted June 30, 2015
REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Holding accused in Inflategate
Soroptimist of Jackson Hole is appealing a decision from the NFL (National Falsie League) to punish the local charity for overinflation of falsies. According to Commissioner Rogene Goodell, falsies were inflated beyond the allowed 12.5 to 13.5...
- Posted May 27, 2015