REDNECK PERSPECTIVE: Highbrow Hog Island

By on November 10, 2015

Public art to heighten Hoback sophistication.

Jackson, WY – Carry Gervaise, director of the Greater Hog Island/Hoback Public Art Task Force, presented conceptual drawings for a public art project during the Hog Island Council meeting last week.

“What we are proposing,” she said, “Is a grove of trees made from steel pipes with lights on the end. The pipes will evoke nature, forcing passersby to consider their place in the natural world, in the Hog Island ecosystem, in Greater Yellowstone, in the Rocky Mountain West and ultimately the planet!” She exclaimed.

Designer John Fleming, whose most recent creation included the Willow Grove pipes on West Broadway, spoke to the council. “The art piece is meant to announce the entrance to the heart of Hog Island,” he proclaimed, (as if the beer cans and bullet holes in signs need clarification). “Best of all, the display will attract cultural visitors providing millions of dollars in revenue. The project will encourage harmonious growth, decrease stress and reduce some types of cancer, heart disease and lead to a more productive, happy and enlightened citizenry.”

Commissioner Charles Ray questioned the environmental impact of milling pipes, trucking them across the country, excavating a massive foundation, and the use of electricity. “Why not just plant a willow to evoke nature?” he asked.

“Eliminating such provincial thinking is another attribute of steel trees!” Fleming snorted.

“What about the tree cell tower on the hill?” Commissioner Forest Clint asked.

“That’s not art,” Gervaise said. “It’s a cell tower; art must be for art’s sake or it can never be a true nature evoker.”

Gervaise reminded the council that a large part of the funding will be provided by LOR Foundation.

“How much is a large part?” asked the council.

“Keeping the amount undefined will allow greater creativity.” Gervaise explained. “But for artistic visionary purposes, just how much is the Hog Island Council prepared to invest in this worthy and soul moving project?”

According to treasurer Pervis Luther, there was 187.26 dollars saved to help Hog Island host the WWMWFC (Women’s World Mud Wrestling Federation Championship).

“That’s all!” Designer John Fleming demanded as he stomped out, forcing the council to come up with their own plan to evoke nature. Bob Thornton’s wife offered to move Bob’s 74 Chevy, the one that had been on blocks in his front yard for the past seven years, closer to the highway. Roy Tyler’s wife suggested that her husband’s 72 Ford, which had been on blocks in his front yard for the past 12 years, would also be a good fit. Several fist fights broke out concerning passionate remarks about the relative merits and faults of Fords and Chevys. In a display of love, tolerance and acceptance, the Hog Island Council arrived at an agreement. They decided to place the Ford on the south side of the highway pointed north and south and the Chevy on the north side of the highway pointed east and west. This nature-evoking display, the council explained, represents the four sacred directions, the four elements–earth, wind, water and fire, the four foods–bacon, pork ribs, bacon burgers and biscuits, and of course, four wheel drive. PJH

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