THEM ON US

By on November 18, 2014
111914themonus.lead

Photo: Travellogs.com

Hard-working Kelly

The To-Do list for the average Kelly, Wyoming, resident probably looks like this: Wake up in the dark. Prop the yurt back up. Chop firewood. Water the hemp. Shovel a path to the Outback. Drive 15 miles of bad road to town and begin Job No. 1. Drive back home, change clothes, return to Jackson for Jobs No. 2 and 3. Return home in the dark. Shovel a path to the yurt. Prop it back up. Water the hemp. Chop firewood.

Movoto Real Estate pumped out a list of the hardest working zip codes in America and, hold on to your hard hat, Kelly’s 83011 made the list at No. 4. Our initial reaction was to immediately challenge the list’s criteria, especially when we learned Etna, Wyoming, was close behind in the fifth slot.

We were further put off by the shoddy research and copyediting in the piece parked at www.movoto.com. They listed Kelly as “Kelly, WV,” complete with the following assessment: “While this might be an unincorporated community surrounded by the beautiful greenery that is West Virginia, that doesn’t mean this place is all about relaxation.”

JHMR: “tru dat”

“Want to know what ski town you should move to this season?” read the headline on the Teton Gravity Research website. Ugh, more ski porn, we thought. But Brigid Mander’s spot-on piece was hilariously accurate. Mander rounded up the usual suspects, compiling a list of ski towns and what they’re known for.

Mander began the Jackson Hole mention with: “Move here if you have a trust fund. You are the best skier at your home mountain in Pennsylvania, Vermont, or wherever you went to prep school. Your parents will purchase a house for you, because ski towns are great real estate investments and Jackson’s market is going off. Until then, renting a crappy room in a crapbox condo for $1,000 a month is fine. You won’t mind having a restaurant job for 5-30 years, since all your fellow servers will have a Master’s or Ph.D. from even better schools than you went to, and validate your ‘career’ path.”

Gigity go

You’re probably downloading Planet JH Weekly PDF from our website. How long is it taking? It should be so fast that next week’s edition can be downloaded last week. It will be, anyway, when Silver Star Communications has everything humming.

Silver Star crews have been a familiar sight for the past few years, burying fiber optics lines with the zeal of a Dachshund caching a rawhide chew toy. The end result will make Jackson the state’s first “gigabit community,” according to Silver Star and their partner company Calix.

Valley residents are currently serviced with a max network speed of about 30 to 35 megabytes per second. A new day will dawn soon that should have 125 MBs as the top end speed, enabling laptop jockeys to transfer a gigabyte of data in the time it takes a bullrider to earn a scored ride. (That’s eight seconds for the unWestern).

Silver Star has built out 120 miles of fiber since 2011 in western Wyoming and Idaho. Next up, once Jackson Hole is at cruising altitude, is including the community of Thayne. Someone might need to explain to them that increasing broadband has nothing to do with overeating at Thanksgiving.

Casper cold

The polar vortex cold snap thingy that’s held much of the nation in its grip for the past week or so gave Wyoming a chance for bragging rights. While nearly everyone in the country felt the brrr, Casper was way cold. A 27-below-zero reading taken at midnight last Wednesday shattered their all-time record cold reading and was the coldest spot in the nation on November 12.

Wolves ruled out in death

It wasn’t wolves that killed a female member of the Eastern Shoshone Tribe. Deanne Lynn Coando, 40, of Fort Washakie was mauled to death last week, sparking rumors that wolves were to blame. But after an autopsy, Mark Stratmoen, chief deputy Fremont County coroner, said Coando died of hypothermia and loss of blood. He added the victim suffered serious injuries, likely inflicted by multiple dogs running wild on the Wind River Indian Reservation. No one witnessed the attack.

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About Jake Nichols

Jake is a work in progress.

One Comment

  1. SlowLane

    November 22, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    And what will you pay for Silver Star Internet service?

    I can’t afford he service Jackson now has.

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