DEAR ROCKY LOVE: 4.23.14
JACKSON, WYO – Dear Rocky Love,
Fifteen years ago, when my husband and I first moved to Jackson, life was awesome! We both love the outdoors and the community. We got good jobs; we had time to play. Then we had kids. Now we’re both tired all the time from work and parenting, and our sex life is on autopilot. We know all each other’s moves in the bedroom, and we don’t feel inspired to come up with new ones. How do we spice things up again?
– Worn-Out in East Jackson
Ooo, have I got some fun suggestions for you! But first let me say that this is a challenge most long-term monogamous couples face, and having young kids can compound the issue. Plus, you live in Jackson, where there are too few venues or events where sexiness is encouraged. (Last fall’s Revelry party at Center for the Arts stood out as an exception – the lust was palpable!) No wonder worn-out couples here can fall into ruts.
However, I have two sexy ideas for you. These dates require a babysitter and a few hours of couple time. I want you to set aside time to break out of your routine and reconnect with your adventurous side.
Sexy date for worn-out couples No. 1: The Sensual.
When you’re chronically tired, your body can feel irritable, sore and resistant to being touched. So the first order of business is to reawaken your skin and muscles to sensuality and pleasure. Luckily, there are an abundance of options for this in Jackson. I suggest taking a yoga class together, preferably an easier one. You could try Akasha’s Restorative Yoga on Sunday nights at 5:30 p.m. Or book simultaneous massages at Bear and Doe Spa. You can each get a little alone time during the massage, then meet up in the Banya Spa, which will melt away any tension completely. Enjoy getting sweaty together but not touching. Directly after, go home, eat a little fruit, and take warm showers. Get into bed naked, and transfer that sensuality in your bodies to reconnecting with one another.
Sexy date for worn-out couples No. 2: The Illicit.
This one works in two stages. Make a date to go shopping at Ella’s Room. Splurge on lingerie that you both like, the more risqué the better. The next step is to make a lunchtime sex date when the kids are at school or day care. Make this on a different day than the shopping date, so you have time to rev up your fantasies about what is to come. I want you, dear Worn-Out, to arrive at home a few minutes earlier than your husband so you can don that lingerie. When he gets there, get down to business. He needs to join you ASAP in a state of undress. This is a great date to try a new position or room to play in. Enjoy the feeling of “breaking the rules” and being naughty.
In general, remember to communicate! Desire is fluid over a lifetime. Don’t assume you know everything the other person wants.
Also, don’t be lazy about hygiene on days or nights you want to have sex. Spruce up for one another, just as you would if you were going to be with a new lover.
Good luck and have fun!
– XO, Rocky Love
Dear Rocky Love is an advice column on dating, sex and relationships in the Tetons. Send your letters c/o JH Weekly, PO Box 3249, Jackson, WY 83001 or email then to firstname.lastname@example.org