THEM ON US: 3.26.14

By on March 25, 2014
Snowking Pond Skim Fail

Snowking Pond Skim Fail

JACKSON, WYO – List-topping Wyoming
Wyoming often tops the list of states in numerous studies and compilations. Some good, some bad.

We enjoyed the Star Tribune story last Sunday that reported Wyoming is truly still the Equality State. A University of Minnesota study gave Wyoming an A-plus for gender equality in the U.S. House of Representatives – the only state to receive the highest grade. Over the past 25 years Wyoming voters have sent a woman to Washington in 10 of the past 13 contests, going back through Cynthia Lummis and Barbara Cubin’s six reelections.

Another national list, released in the form of a map of the United States, showed what states were worst at. Wyoming’s attribution was predictable: suicide. We could have been tapped for most dangerous workplace or our deadly highway crashes (as was the case in a similar map list released by Pleated Jeans in 2011). This map list was produced by a redditor named “bigafricanhat.”

A link off that same page was also enlightening, and we couldn’t help but click on it: “How much gay porn is your state consuming?”

The map from PornHub showed California and New York to be two of the gayer states but, surprisingly, not the gayest. A full 5.6 percent of all porn surfed in Mississippi was for same-sex action – the nation’s highest. Wyoming was near the bottom at 3.2 percent, but we’re not as straight as the country’s lowest gay porn users: Montana (2.6 percent).

Wyoming did not top the list of thirstiest beer drinkers but we were close. Motley Fool ranked Wyoming third behind only Montana and Wisconsin for beer guzzling. We did grab the number one spot for lowest beer tax ($.02).

School news
A press release from the organizers behind Jackson Hole Classical Academy states a new location has been secured for the school.

Interim headmistress Polly Friess says the school will be relocated to 3255 West High School Road, at the corner of High School Road and South Park Loop Road.

“This beautiful new 11,200 square foot facility can accommodate 135 students with 15 children per grade,” Friess stated in the release.

Bouma Construction of Grand Rapids, Michigan, hopes to break ground on April 15 and be completed with the build in August and in time for the beginning of the 2014-15 school year.

Meanwhile, in other school news, Journeys School announced Monday that head of schools Nate McClennen would be stepping down at the end of the next school year to take over another program within the Teton Science Schools umbrella.

Pond skimming crash
We braced for impact just watching the YouTube video “Snow King Pond Skim Girl Txting Gets Slammed.” The 26-second vid shows a female skier easily clearing the pond at the base of the King and unable to apply the brakes quick enough to prevent her from wiping out a young lady with a dog busy on her smart phone.

The video was uploaded by JuliaJulesKirby, who to date has posted mostly home movies of a little yellow lab. Nothing the user has uploaded in the past three years garnered more than 49 views until the Snow King wipeout. At press time, it was viewed more than 17,500 times.

Chris Pierce had the best comment: “Fat skis have sure made it easy to get across!” he wrote. Sure have.

Big bad wolf
East Idaho News must have had some fun playing up the danger angle re-reporting the urban wolf story the News&Guide published days earlier. Their headline, “Wolf spotted in Jackson neighborhood,” was innocent enough but the accompanying stock photo was straight out of the movie poster for Liam Neeson’s The Grey.

Snowshoeing in the Hole
Snowshoe Magazine (we didn’t know there was such a thing, either) published its top places for snowshoeing in Jackson Hole last week. Katie Hearsum, a travel writer based in Denver, penned the article that included the predictable hotspots for donning a pair of “webs.”

Hearsum mentioned the dike for beginners, although she admits it doesn’t usually require snowshoes. She did, however, suggest parking in any of the retail lots nearby for the trip. We don’t recommend parking at, say, Pearl Street Bagels to walk down the dike, though.

Need something more challenging? Snowshoe says head up Togwotee Pass somewhere and get into the real powder.

“With more than 400 inches of annual snowfall, you’ll want to make sure you use snowshoes that are more advanced and possibly even a size larger than you would normally wear to handle all that powder,” Hearsum wrote.


About Jake Nichols

Jake is a work in progress.

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