PROPS & DISSES: 1.22.14

By on January 21, 2014
Chi-town shakedown Photo credit: OFF SQUARE THEATRE

Chi-town shakedown Photo credit: OFF SQUARE THEATRE

JACKSON, WYO – Good at the first drop PROPS
I sat down for a late breakfast at Nora’s last weekend. It was, like, one in the afternoon. I don’t mention this as testament to my customary Saturday slothfulness; I bring it up only to point out that the coffee should have sucked. Sucked worse than usual, anyway.

Now I love Nora’s Fish Creek Inn. The pancakes are stupendous, the huevos, legendary, but the coffee has always been steeped in mediocrity – like a Matthew McConaughey role in which his shirt remains on. How he was nominated for an Academy Award I’ll never understand.

A worse thought, though, is the idea of a pot of 10:30 Farmers Brothers on the burner until closing time. At 1 p.m., I fully expected to be underwhelmed with my first sip. Then something wonderful happened: I didn’t wince.
The waitress explained they had recently made the switch to Snake River Roasting.

“Isn’t that Ruth Ann’s coffee?” I asked, referring to Petroff’s java endeavor.

Christy shouted toward the kitchen, “Is this Ruth Ann’s coffee?”

The answer showed up at my table. It was Ruth Ann Petroff with her husband, Mark Barron, in tow.

We chatted. Yes, it was Ruth Ann’s coffee. Yes, the mayor’s beard is a topic of conversation but not exactly Page 3 news. And, yes, I still hated the Patriots and hoped they would get the tar beat out of them by the Broncos.

NIMBYs – You’re as cold as ice DISS
Finally, NIMBY a-holes screw themselves, and they won’t get any sympathy from me.

I cringe whenever I read about Home Owners Associations, neighborhood alliances, or just one disgruntled old get-off-my-lawn Clint Eastwood geezer that rally against any development near their property. These are usually tightwad malcontents who wouldn’t recognize their neighbor if they saw them in the grocery store but they become comrades in arms whenever someone proposes a cell tower, daycare, or church within a mile radius of their precious holdings.

It especially baffles me how these “Not In My Back Yard” types could possibly bristle over innocuous things like a cell phone antennae tucked away in a church steeple that you cannot see or hear but will increase your “bars” and make your phone call clearer.

“Not in my backyard,” they bellow.

When River Crossing proposed expansion of its church in Rafter J they were fought tooth-and-nail by residents there who worried the Sunday morning traffic would bring speeders and scofflaws. One has to wonder whether they would prefer to live next to a tavern?

In a case of reverse NIMBY-ism, where landowners are only looking out for me, myself and ice, some residents along Flat Creek have taken it upon themselves to hire contractors to break up ice dams so their property doesn’t flood.

The can-do initiative is admirable considering the Town has decided it’s both too costly and too troublesome to find access, but the self-centered approach has a backlash.

Flat Creek residents downstream from the privatized flood mitigation, places where flooding has not historically been a problem, are now being put in jeopardy. Not in my backyard means in someone else’s backyard. That kind of egomaniacal thinking doesn’t make good neighbors no matter how tall their fences are.

Chi-town shakedown PROPS
Get jazzed for the fundraising party coming up this weekend for Off Square Theatre Company. The Madame X gala is always a night to remember and this Saturday should be the bee’s knees.

The fete always features a theme and this year it is Chicago, as in the place synonymous with the Roaring Twenties. There will be plenty of dapper dans and flirtatious flappers on-hand to help raise money for the theatre company that filled the Center Stage last season with Phantom Tollbooth, To Kill a Mockingbird, Crime and Punishment, and The Hound of Baskervilles, to name a few productions.

Tickets are still available for $150 at www.offsquare.org. Proceeds will help fund the 2014 lineup, which already includes Cabaret, By the Waters of Babylon, and Thoroughly Modern Millie, Jr.


About Jake Nichols

Jake is a work in progress.

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