PROPS & DISSES: 1.8.14

By on January 7, 2014
Jack and Margaret Huyler

Jack and Margaret Huyler

Do you know Jack? PROPS
JACKSON HOLE, WYO – Hello new year, goodbye Jack Huyler. 
Huyler was a legend in this valley… and a rarity. He appreciated Jackson Hole’s natural beauty without trying to alter it. 

Huyler wasn’t born here but he invested himself here. In fact, if you look at his backstory you might be tempted to believe Huyler landed in Jackson like so many Johnny-come-latelies. His daddy made a bunch of money back East (as a chocolatier). He came out West to hunt elk and decided he liked Jackson Hole so much he would buy some real estate. He bought three ranches within three days of his arrival.

But Huyler and family didn’t try to change what they found here like so many. His family ran horses, some cattle. Huyler rode horses and trained horses. He appreciated everything organic about the valley.

“It used to be that anybody was welcome to cross anyone’s property if they left the gates the way they found them,” Jack told The Planet’s Jeanne Ball last spring. “I’d have gotten myself put in jail, probably, if I was still riding, ‘cuz I’d have refused to accept closure of trails that have been there for a long time. The gated community is a class creator.”

Huyler was another of the old guard. A valley legend that will be remembered for a variety of reasons but most notably for being the “stuff” of Jackson Hole.

Another noteworthy dude rancher was taken from us recently. Bev Halpin operated Lost Creek Ranch for many years. I had the pleasure of working for her for three summers in the late 90s. Terrible loss. She will be missed. A celebration of life service will be held this Saturday beginning at 3 p.m. at the Heritage Arena.

Fourth grade feud at dealership DISS
Meanwhile, while real men ride off into the sunset, “boy-men” do what modern age cowboys do: draw their pee-pee on stuff.
Where to begin with the NaG’s story about David Dell and his illustrated business card? The former Teton Motors salesman was pink slipped last May for handing out a business card to a female customer with the drawing of a penis on the back. And you ladies thought catcalling construction workers were crass. 

Dell insists someone else drew the dong, and in fact he thinks he knows exactly who it was because a fellow employee had a habit of pranking his business cards. That “boy-man” has since been fired, too. Maybe Teton Motors needs to tighten up its hiring criteria. Start with making sure their salespeople aren’t still downloading Selena Gomez songs.

Dell wants unemployment checks. Teton Motors doesn’t want to pay. Of course there’s a lawsuit. Maybe everyone needs to grow up and put on some big boy pants.

Wyoming is the West

Wyoming is the West

Equality State? No, superior state PROPS
The time is now for Wyoming to emerge as the only real western state in the Rocky Mountain region. Even though the Cowboy State recently embraced the great evil Powerball, we can still recover as our neighbors stumble down the stretch.

A favorable tax climate always has Wyoming near the top of the list of best states to do business in.

Now, thanks to our neighbors to the south going complete hippie, we just raked in popular gun accessories manufacturer Magpul.

Colorado will be waiving goodbye to $80 million annually and 200 jobs that will be flying out of state to Wyoming and Texas thanks to its new sissy stance on firearms. Maybe liberal leadership in the Centennial State believes the losses will be offset by the legalization of pot sales. Good luck with that; have another bong hit.

Then there are the Dakotas. They’re so busy fighting the increase in crime caused by the Bakken boom they can’t think straight. To the southwest, Utah officials there are trying to prove they’re still God-fearing conservatives even though gays are getting hitched and liquor laws are relaxing every year, threatening to tear down the Zion curtain.

And Idaho? Boise is California East and Idaho Falls is a shopping mall. Montana is the only cool state bordering Wyoming but they are so standoffish they’re practically Canada.

The time is now for Wyoming to step forward and make a right and true claim to being the last and best of the Old West. Better skiing, wilder wildlife, more sagebrush.


About Jake Nichols

Jake is a work in progress.

4 Comments

  1. maxhypocrasy

    January 8, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    Superior state? I imagine the majority of WY would lump our little corner into the ilk of the other mentioned states. The stop at nothing to build more bike paths, tell me when I can idle my car, or talk on my cell phone crowds are destroying what is “superior” about WY. We have more crybabies per capita here than anywhere else in the state. Like the people who build their mansions next to ranches that have been there 100 years, then complain about the ranching operation noises. If we could send the dopers back to a dope state and send the nannies back to the Republik of Commifornia, then we “might” be worthy of the “superior” rating.

  2. 22

    January 8, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    Ha Ha Jake’s epic ignorance at it again. mariguano sales are on pace for 400 million in state revenue, not to mention tourists dollars, and savings from no longer policing, prosecuting and imprisioning smokers. Hope Wyoming doesn’t lose 80 million in tourists dollars cuz folks visit hippie CO instead.

  3. jake

    January 9, 2014 at 8:19 am

    @22 – Projection prepared for Colorado voters predicted pot taxes would bring less than $70 million a year. Cant base numbers on first week when every toker hits the head shop. By next week, the whole population will be too stoned to remember to buy more. Also, since the feds won’t allow credit card use, etc, its a cash-only business. That’s gonna mean plenty of graft, siphoning,mis-reporting and otherwise creative accounting. State should expect to get screwed out of millions.

  4. CD

    January 17, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    Legal pot sales will make Colorado money, and save more by halting the persecution of users. The tax money will largely go to fund schools. I know the image in the mind of most conservatives (you know, small government, personal responsibility, keep your government hands off my medicare) is of a long hair with bad breath and Birkenstock sandals listening to Ravi Shankar behind the counter of the shop they barely remembered to open. I’ve got news for you. The proprietors of those shops are CAPITALISTS in the truest sense of the word. They are clean cut, wear suits, play carefully by the rules set out, and are gonna make some serious cheddar. You know, the American dream. You don’t want to smoke it, I don’t blame you. Stand back and watch the market speak.

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