PROPS & DISSES 10.9.13

By on October 8, 2013


Pepsi: Beet of a different drum   PROP

I first got turned on to “Mexican Coke” last summer. It was at Pica’s. I drank it down and ordered two more. I don’t remember what I ate.

High fructose corn syrup is the devil. It should be listed as a controlled substance. I assume the reason the confectionery industry turned to it over cane sugar was purely to save a buck.

Now there’s great news. You can get better-tasting soda pop AND promote a Wyoming product. PepsiCo just announced it will extend its sugar-infused Pepsi Throwback, along with Mountain Dew Throwback for the foreseeable future, continuing their relationship with sugar beet farmers in the Big Horn Basin who supply the real sugar.

The nostalgic soda was introduced in 2009 as a specialty drink. By 2011, PepsiCo knew they had a winner on their hands. Old-timers remember the taste of soda before the 1980s when the industry shifted to fructose. Newcomers just think real sugar tastes better.

More than 700,000 pounds of sugar from Big Horn Basin beets were shipped to Pepsi’s bottling plant in Worland last year. That’s good news for farmers and pop drinkers.

 Generous gesture from Wyoming Rep  PROP

Cynthia Lummis continues to hold out hope that Obamacare can be erased if Republicans refuse to blink in the game of chicken being played with the nation’s budget on Capitol Hill. However, on the plus side, she is one of the few who have decided to refuse pay while the partial government shutdown is in effect.

Lummis announced late last week she would donate her paychecks to CLIMB Wyoming for as long as other federal employees have to go without. The move was criticized by some as being nothing more than political grandstanding but at least she recognizes Congressional popularity is polling somewhere near “cat crushing” videos right now.

 Go climb a tree, Jensen!  DISS

Rich pricks think they’re entitled to take liberties as they see fit and pull out their checkbook when they’re caught. James Jensen is being investigated for his “accidental” removal of an acre’s worth of trees so he could get a better view of the Tetons. Allegedly.

It’s the same old story. It happened last year in John Dodge when an innocent mix-up resulted in the tops of several trees being lopped off to improve someone’s sightline of the triple tits. Arborists claimed they were doing beetle mitigation work but refused to say who hired them.

Jensen also is claiming an innocent mistake was made. Not only did he order $150,000 worth of trees be logged out of the way of his Grand view, he did so on his neighbor’s property. These cases are impossible to prove. Fat cats either claim a mistake was made and offer money, or pin the blame on a FUBAR landscaping company that can’t take direction. Either way, trees can’t get unchopped and these blue bloods think every one of us was born yesterday.

Truck arrestors WYDOT has proposed for Teton Pass use metal nets that stop runaway trucks the way an aircraft carrier stops jets. This one is near Buffalo.

Truck arrestors WYDOT has proposed for Teton Pass use metal nets that stop runaway trucks the way an aircraft carrier stops jets. This one is near Buffalo.

 Tommy’s $3M truck stop  DISS

Wait, now we have to build fancy catch nets for runaway spud spillers trying to sneak over the Pass with an illegal load on? What’s next, golden parachutes? What’s wrong with the “oh shit” ramps they already have?

Look, we’re never going to mitigate all the danger out of an eight percent grade. It is what it is, and we are not going to be able to tunnel our way through the issue, either. These proposed arrestors are an eyesore and expensive.

The worst part is, proponents of these fancy new runaway nets admit that truckers don’t always notice them because they are installed on a downhill. Most gear jammers are accustomed to looking uphill for the kitty litter when they are wrestling with an out-of-control 18-wheeler. So to address this issue a WYDOT PIO suggested additional signage.

Hell, these dumb bastards can’t read the sign at the bottom of the hill telling them no trailer traffic, or the sign telling them they need to weigh in, or the sign telling them to keep it in low gear. How are they going to notice the sign that says, “Warning: catch nets are not where you’d expect them” while barreling down Teton Pass with burned out brakes?




About Jake Nichols

Jake is a work in progress.

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